that doggy in the window

  

long winding, traffic free road

smile on my lips

song in my heart

cold wind in my hair

night sky or winter sun

slight drizzle thrown in for good measure

watchful gaze of an old friend

honestly, what more can one ask for?

A girl in the movies

I love the happy endings. I love the fairy tale beginnings. I even love the tumultuous dance-drama high-powered emotion-filled in-betweens.

I want to be a girl in the movies.


I want the last 10 minutes of my movie to start.


The last 10 minutes where everything miraculously becomes ok, all your seemingly insurmountable problems and complications of your own creation melt away, the tall, funny, sensitive, good looking man you’ve always waited for appears from out of the blue, the job you dreamed of is yours, the bitch at work gets put in her place, you save the world and there is no global warming anymore....


Through all this you never have a bad hair day, you don’t exercise, you eat like there’s no tomorrow and never put on weight and even after its rained and your soaking wet you look your best, actually especially after its rained and ur soaking wet you look your best.

It’s not fair!


I hate it. I hate this unreal world of make believe that has been my staple diet through my growing up years. I hate the ridiculous expectations that the reason and logic defying Bollywood masala movies have set. I hate how my rational mind has been conditioned to believe in happily ever after.


And yet that’s only the half of it. The truth and the whole truth is that I am a girl in the movies.


A movie that hasn’t as yet gotten to its last 10 minutes, a movie that’s had a more fairly tale beginning than could be hoped for and is now going through the tumultuous dance-drama high-powered emotion-filled in-between. Undoubtedly with a twist in the plot.


My movie. A movie like no other. It’s different!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Right now I need the wisdom most.

The serenity, the courage can follow later.

peek-a-boo

"While I'm writing, I'm far away;
and when I come back, I've gone."
                                               - Pablo Neruda

Very nicely sums up my feelings, many a time that I blog.
Ok well, the few times that I blog.
And today is just one of those times. :) 

B-E-I-N-G

In the here. In the now. As is.

Just be.

That simple. So easy.

But how?

How does one not fret about the past, not worry oneself silly about the future and just be? How does one not react to the happiness, the sorrow, the anger, the affection, the jealousy, the anxiety, the elation, the rage, the hurt, the excitement, the fear that one feels?

That's just it. One doesn't.

Not react that is.

In my limited understanding one reacts. To everything one feels, in exactly the way one feels like. So if one wants to yell at someone, one yells. If one wants to cry, one brings out the tissues. If one wants to dance, one turns up the volume and dances. If one wants to do nothing, one does nothing. That way, one would atleast be confident that one did all they could for a certain situation and there'd be no regrets.

As for the natural tendency to worry and think too much....

.........one simply trusts that the inherent person that one is, wouldn't let one do something they'd regret later.
.........one simply trusts that each one is selfish enough to watch out for their best interest. So how someone (person, place or thing) responds to your reaction is their look out. You simply do what you want to, not expecting a certain response.

That's where 'being' comes in.

In learning to trust

In learning to not expect a reaction
In learning to keep the faith

And no, it's not easy. But then, no one really said it would be.

some things in life deserve.......

a hearty laugh
a silent tear
carefree abandon
serious thought

a lot of patience
far less stress
a slower pace
forgiveness

a shot once
a second chance
out of tune singing
an off beat dance

lots of lung power
a heartfelt apology
no use of the head
binary honesty

centrestage
the depths of oblivion
a tooth and nail battle
no attention

a hot shower
a bone crushing hug
dark chocolate
a tender tug

a knock on wood
a walk in the rain
a good night’s rest
some bit of pain

a lot of passion
some rebellion
a little idealism
much faith

an applause
an apology
an attitude
a eulogy

Opting for Naïveté

Blasts in Mehrauli, the headline cried
Barely hit me that another had died.

The stock market crashed, the monsoons failed,
They were released who should have been jailed.

Slogged on a presentation last night until two
Then credit was given, where it just wasn’t due

All sold out and a house full board
Out came the tickets when 500 rupees was showed

Just as I thought it would last till eternity
That’s when he chose to walk out on me.

As much as seems wrong with my world
I’m only just shaken, certainly not stirred.

For there is ample and more that is phenomenally great
To keep me believing there is still hope yet,

And I’ve decided I will keep the faith....
I’m opting for naïveté